Fun with Forwards: I've Figured it Out

I have. I've finally figured out why my life has been so unlucky lately. It's partly because of holidays, and it's partly because of e-mail.

I took the time today to actually read one of the many forwards that I invariably receive round about the same times every year. "You've been egged!" around Easter time... "You've been snowballed!" around Christmas time... "Not forwarding this makes little Baby Jesus cry..."... also, around Christmas time.

Today I read one the whole way through. At the end, it said this:

"If you delete this after you read this, you will have one year bad luck." So. I guess I'm doomed. Because I have deleted at least 500 of them. Even if I serve these terms of bad-luck-having concurrently, holidays tend to pop up more than once per year, so if each one carries with it a big bag of bad luck... Well, that ain't good.

There are two obvious solutions to this: (a) All holidays, including all days off of school, could be done away with, or (b) I could not read the emails at all. The choice is clear.

For now, though, I'm stuck with bad luck until next March 17. "Why did you get an F- on the MCAT, Eric?" or "Why didn't you get into medical school, Eric?" or "Why are you hopping trains and brandishing a hobo-knife, Eric?" -- all of these can be answered by one simple sentence.

I had too much fun with forwards.